An open letter to airport designers

Dear Designers,

I appreciate that you never have to slum it with the rest of us down in the plebs lounge, as you sip your free champagne and eat endless canapés in the First Class Lounges of the world. However, as a frequenter of airport waiting rooms, I feel it is my responsibility to point out to you how the other 95% wait.

We are tired. We want to sleep. Always. We are jet-lagged, hung over, bored and emotional. This is not a good time to fuck with us.

So, if you are the arsehole who decided that putting armrests on the chair was a good idea, we have one thing to say to you, “May the fleas of 1,000 camels infest your armpits.”

Seriously, this is the single most evil design in the history of humanity. It is simply masochistic not to let travelers stretch out and have a rest. We should not be caste unto the filthy carpet, simply because we have a long layover. Have pity on the souls who chose time over money. Those who are not in a hurry and prefer to use their cash on experiences and beer.

Dear, dear designer, take a leaf from the good people of Korea who put beds in their lounges. YES! BEDS!!! Fully reclining, totally sleepable beds. And lots of them. I didn’t see any untoward behavior (as hard as I looked) and I certainly appreciated them on my recent 11 hour stop over.

So, please, in the future when hunched over your next airport design, spare a thought for us. And remove the armrests. Then I’ll remove the camel fleas.




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